free to do what i want to?

confession:  i was a wee bit of a headbanger as a teen in the 80's.

as eclectic as i've always been musically, in that era i preferred the music i listened to on my cassette tapes LOUD and STRONG. (yes, cassette tapes. all you young'uns can laugh now! but at least i don't quite make it back to 8-tracks ...)

and so i drifted from classical to pop to jazz to ... STRYPER. (if you are not familiar with this awesome group, take a few moments and google them now - you'll either be glad or sorry you did!)

after all, i was a Christian teen - or, at least, tried to be - and needed to have some Jesus-like representation in my musical mix. as i rocked and worshiped with their albums, i eventually came to the following song (to get the full experience, turn the volume as far UP as it will go!)

while others my age were still fighting for their right to party like it was 1999, i was dumbstruck with the idea that i was free to do what i wanted to do - especially in my relationship with God.

"free to open up and believe?" "free to simply ask - AND receive?" no way. i lived in an environment where it was give up, put up, and shut up. not a semblance of freedom to be found. what was this group yelling about? i couldn't be free. i didn't feel free. people told me i wasn't free. what kind of God was this?

sometimes i wish i could reach back in time to give myself a hug and say, "listen! what you're hearing is real. that still, small voice is God telling you that you are able to choose Him. He's there for you! your destiny is determined by Him, not by what anyone else says or does. you can open up, believe, ask, and receive."

i daily choose my destiny. sometimes for good, sometimes not. but every moment, my Father God is with me - even when i think He isn't. He gently opens me when i am frightened and closed. He helps me to believe truth instead of lies. He gives generously to me before I can think to ask anything of Him. i receive so much that i cannot begin to describe or keep an account of it. my future is in His hands. my destiny will always be found in Him.

i am free because God is for me - Jesus has made it all possible - and i choose to live by His Holy Spirit.

free to do what i want to? you bet!

how about you?